The Best Affair Dating Sites Reviewed (And Which Ones To Avoid)

Discreet dating sites are a valuable tool for having an affair.  These sites help you find affair partners, manage affairs, and keep it all a secret.  Unlike Tinder, you don't have to worry about your spouse's friend stumbling across your profile and raising hell.

7 Affair Sites Reviewed

I've tested 7 different affair sites and what follows are my reviews of each site (along with a few steamy stories). Enjoy!




My # of Encounters


Ashley Madison

85 million


Victoria Milan

37 million


Adult Friend Finder

230 million





Casual X









Ashley Madison - Best Overall Affair Site

This is the biggest site dedicated to connecting people who want to have an affair.  You can meet lonely housewives, established men, or women in their 20s that jumped into things too fast.

The site has messaging, chat, and voice calling built in.  So you can escalate through each as you connect with someone before meeting in person.

If you're on Ashley Madison you are expected to keep a secret.  This gives it an "in-on-it" vibe, where everyone can already relate to each other.  I think this feeling of 'togetherness' helps make discreet dating sites work better than generic dating sites.

My Experience - I've met six women from Ashley Madison.  Four of them turned into sexual partners, and 1 was one of the most intense affairs of my life.

The most interesting was with a woman named Holly.  She was 39, married to a lawyer who was never home, and lived in a big house with a pool - your stereotypical lonely housewife.  I messaged her first, we talked about Game of Thrones, and she invited me over to watch the season premiere on her TV.  We had a few drinks, one thing led to another and after a scene where John Snow took off his pants she took off mine.  We fucked in her hot-tub AND on the balcony.  It felt great having sex in that big house and feeling like it was all mine.

We still see each other about once a month, and haven't been caught yet.  She's made it clear that her husband is also having affairs, so she has no guilt about ours.

Visit Ashley Madison

Read my  Ashley Madison review.

Victoria Milan - A New Twist On Affair Dating

affairs sites like ashley madison

Victoria Milan isn't quite as old as the famous Ashley Madison, but their customer service has helped bring in a lot of new members.

They have features like chatting, voice calling, and messaging.  You can see how close someone lives to you in miles (or KM) so you know if they will be easy to find.  They have different filters that let you select if they want something committed or if they are looking for a quick and discreet fling.  This is also a great site if you are over 50 and looking for affairs, they have a classy vibe that attracts older and more responsible men and women with established careers.

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Adult Friend Finder - Best Discreet Hookup Site

The only reason this site dosen't make the top of our list is that it isn't specifically for extramarital affairs.  This site has the most users of any hookup site, so you can find a lot of people living near you.  It also has a ton of features, sex courses, webcam features, and forums.  It's a great community for all things no strings attached dating.

While it is easy to meet real people with this site the average attractiveness is not as high as Ashley Madison.  That hasn’t stopped me from meeting some attractive women on here, and having one long term relationship from it.

Since it is a general dating site and not an affair only site you should be more careful with your identity.  Try wearing a mask in your photo or not showing your entire face, you can also use a fake name.  Anything to avoid being seen by people that might know you are married on the site.

Like Ashley Madison this site has messaging, chat, and calls for getting to know people, however it also adds in forums, webcams, and profile blogging.

Webcams are a great way to safely scope people out, or get hesitant people to see you are trustworthy.  The site’s forums and blogs are another way to see how active people are, what they like to talk about, and gauge their personality.

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Gleeden - A Extramarital Affairs Site Made By Women

Cheating site for women

This is an affair site aimed at women, and even boasts a team of all women staff.  It was created in France and is one of the newest affair sites there is.  The French vibe is very obvious on the app and 30% of the women using it are in France.  

I haven't had much luck yet with gleeden, the women there are very picky.  They get to use the app for free, while guys have to pay.  They also get to choose whether or not they want to respond to you, kind of like how bumble works.  If you are a classy woman looking for an elegant affair this is probably the best choice for you.

They mainly try to cater to women by making it so every guy has public ratings from women they have met with.  They also make it free for women to message but charge guys fees for contacting people.

Heated Affairs Review

heated affairs review

Heated affairs is another site that has a good team behind it and a nice design.  It was first started in 2013 and has since caught up to other big sites like Ashley Madison and Adult friend finder.  The women on this site are very attractive on average and pretty fun to talk to.

I emailed one of the customer service reps and they told me that right now they have 37% guys and 63% women so there is a good chance of meeting a woman if you are a guy.

They place ads all over magazines like slutty girl problems and bitch media to attract women users.  It's also free for women, so they get women in the door kind of like how night clubs do. This helps them reach women and balance out the ratios.

When i used this site I managed to find one date with a woman that lived 10 miles away from me.  We met up at a coffee shop and afterwards went back to her place.  Her boyfriend was out of down for the weekend and we made out and got to third base.  Two weeks later we met up again and this time had an amazing fuck.  Definitely one of my go to sites now for finding women.

Free Affair Sites For Married Cheating

Nothing is better than free, especially when the free service lets you find a passionate affair that will create priceless memories.  Most of these sites aren't specifically for only an affair, but you will find plenty of married wives and husbands on them.

For the longest time craigslist personals was by far the best place to find any kind of casual encounters for free.  But now that it has been taken down we have to use some other free sites that also work for adultery.


As soon as craigslist was taken down this popped up.  It lets you search for discreet hookups in your city.  If you live in the country side it is a good way to find people for free.  The amount of users is still small though because it is pretty new, but there has been a big flood of people lately coming in from craigslist.

Adultery and R4R: Finding Affair Partners On Reddit Sites

If you are having an affair it can be easy to feel isolated and like people don't understand you.  That's why i love the adultery subreddit site which is a forum with 20,000 members.  The members range from curious in getting started to having dozens of affairs for years.

You can participate in discussions about common issues, like how to meet up.  You can ask questions, share helpful links, and join kik groups.

The kik group is a great way to meet people for free that are part of the married cheating community.  It is a hundred people and growing, you may be lucky enough to find someone on there in your city.   But if you form a connection with someone you might have to fly to meet them which can be a lot more expensive and far from 'free'.

Free R4R Hookups

Another subreddit to check out is r4r.  Just try googling *your city name* +r4r.  So if you live in san francisco you would type "seattle r4r" into google.  This will show you people that live near you and are looking to find something discreet.  You can also post an ad saying that you are looking for an affair.

More Guides

Maintaining an affair can be a lot of work, but we have you covered.  Check out our guides to having, finding and maintaining an affair.  As well as site reviews, app reviews, and erotic stories of real life affairs.

How To Have an Affair

Is bigger better? When it comes to information, we think so.  

In our how to have an affair guide we list out every tip tactic and trick for keeping your discreet relationship hidden from your spouse.  This post is over 3000 words long and took weeks to write (we're quite proud of it).

One of the trickiest things is coordinating when to meet up and where.  One of the best times is when you go out and do chores like grocery shopping, also when you can leave early for work.  One of the most suspicious times to hookup with your AP is during the night, the "I had to work late" excuse can only work so many times.

Craigslist Personals Alternatives

Best free affair sites like craigslist

Sadly, after the FOSTA and SESTA bills were passed in April 2018 Craigslist personals was taken down.  If the law is appealed there is a chance that Craigslist personals may return some day, but until then we have to use alternatives to find affairs and casual encounters.

I've listed some of my favorite craigslist personals alternatives on a separate post.  Most of these are great places to find the same type of cheater relationships and cougars you found on craigslist

It's not all bad though, the main downside of Craigslist was that you got a lot of people emailing you with spam offers.  I had to keep a private email just for personals which was kind of a pet peeve. It took a lot more work to find something, but hey at least it was the best free affair site.

Backpage Alternatives

Backpage was another site that disappeared along with craigslist.  We have made a list of sites that are similar to backpage that will work as substitutes.  These sites are pretty similar to craigslist but a bit more risque, like how  You can use them to find kinky affairs and swinger clubs.  You probably won't find a rich woman on this site though, it is more for people who are looking for sex.

Best Affair Apps

While many of the sites we listed also have an app (Victoria Milan, Ashley Madison, Gleeden) there are tons of services that are app only.

View our guide to the best affair apps to find what we've tested so far.  There are some apps like CasualX that are dedicated to finding local hookups, similar to how craigslist personals would have worked.  

You can also use Tinder and hide your face, only showing your body.  That way if anyone who knows you are in a committed thing stumbles across your profile they won't call you out as being a cheater.

Affairs With Sister-In-Laws

How to have an affair with in laws

You would be surprised how many people have their first affair with an in law.  Most commonly it is with a sister-in-law, but it can also be with a brother-in-law or mother-in-law.

In my sister-in-law affair post i round up some common stories from around the web of people who managed to pull off affairs with their sister in law.  This is no easy task and one of the most challenging extramarital affairs to have.  But when you gotta have it you gotta have it.  Sometimes the allure of a challenge makes it one of the most rewarding affairs you could ever have.

How To Get A Married Woman To Cheat

Sometimes you meet the woman of your dreams, but she is already married, or about to be.  You might already have some connection which just makes you want her more.

Luckily most married women aren't too happy in their relationship if they are flirting with you.  Once you learn how to seduce a married woman you can get her to cheat on her husband and fall for you.

This is difficult to do if she is newly married, say, less than 1 year.  But if she has been married longer than 5 years, especially if she is young, she will have fallen out of lust with her husband and is looking for a new man.  It's not natural for people to have sex with the same person longer than 5 years.  Young women who got married especially will feel like they are missing out when they see their girlfriends having passionate sex and going on fun dates.