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7 Best Affair Sites to Use: Safe and Discreet Websites For Married Cheating

What’s the Best Affair Site? 7 Extramarital Dating Websites Reviewed

Discreet dating sites are one of my favorite tools for finding new affair partners.  They let you browse people seeking affairs near you, and unlike Tinder, you don't have to worry about your spouse's friend stumbling across your profile and raising hell.

If you're still paranoid of getting caught by someone, the best affair websites let you blur your face so you can't be identified.  They also let you create profiles, send messages, chat, and do voice calls before meeting up in person.

My Reviews of the Best Married Dating Sites 

I've tested 7 different sites so far, here is what has worked best for me:




My # of Encounters


Ashley Madison

89 million


Adult Friend Finder

113 million


No Strings Attached

17 million








Victoria Milan

2 million


Heated Affairs

2 million





Ashley Madison Review - Best Overall Affair Site?

This is the biggest site I've found that's dedicated exclusively to affair dating.

The women (and men) here are more sex-focused than on other sites.  Most of them are in their mid 30s to 40s, stuck in marriages they dislike, and looking for some extra passion.  It's also a free site for women, which keeps the ratio of men to women about equal compared other sites.

If you're on this affair dating site, you are expected to keep a secret.  This gives the site an "in-on-it" vibe, where everyone can already relate to each other.  I think this feeling of 'togetherness' helps make affair websites work better than generic dating sites.

The site also has messaging, chat, and voice calling built in, so if you want you can escalate with someone before swapping numbers.

My Experience - I've met eleven women from Ashley Madison.  Six of them turned into affair partners, and 1 has been the best affair of my life.  She's made it clear that her husband is also having affairs, so she has no guilt about ours.  Ashley Madison made it easy to find people like her, and has become my go to affair site.

Visit Ashley Madison Here

Adult Friend Finder Review - Discreet Adult Dating Site

AdultFriendFinder has the most users of any hookup site, so you can find many people looking for sex near you.  It has chatting, voice calling, sex courses, video calling, and forums.  It's a great community for swingers and all things no strings attached dating.  Most of the people are very open-minded and will be completely understanding of your desire to explore relationships outside of your current relationships.

Since it is a general adult dating site, you may want to be more careful with your identity.  Try wearing a mask in your photo or not showing your entire face, you can also use a fake name.  Anything to avoid being identified by friends, family, or acquaintances that might be on the site.

Webcams are a great way to safely scope people out, or get hesitant people to see you are trustworthy.  The site’s forums and blogs are another way to see how active people are, what they like to talk about, and gauge their personality.

Visit Adult Friend Finder

Victoria Milan Review - A New Twist On Affair Websites

affairs sites like ashley madison

Victoria Milan isn't quite as old as other dating websites, but their customer service has helped bring in many new members.

They have features like chatting, voice calling, and messaging.  You can see how close someone lives to you in miles (or KM) so you know if they will be easy to find.

However I did give this site only 2.5 stars out of 5.  It just doesn't have the same amount of users as the first two sites in our list.  Maybe in the future I can give this site a higher rating if it becomes as busy as other adult dating sites for married people.

Visit Victoria Milan

Gleeden Review - A So-So Dating Site For Married People

Cheating site for women

This is an affair site aimed at married women looking for love, and boasts a team of all women staff.  It was created in France and is one of the newest affair sites there is.  The French vibe is very obvious on the app and 30% of the women using it are in France.  

I haven't had much luck yet with gleeden, the women there are very picky.  They get to use the app for free, while guys have to pay.  They also get to choose whether or not they want to respond to you, kind of like how bumble works.  If you are a classy woman looking for an elegant affair this is probably the best choice for you.

Another thing I didn't like about this app is that people can leave ratings and comments on your profile.  I don't really like being 'reviewed', especially since someone who is a bad match for me might put off someone who is a good match by leaving a bad review.  It also currently costs $30 a month for guys, while wives get to use it 100% for free.  I'd rather

Visit Gleeden

Heated Affairs Review - The "Married But Looking" Site

heated affairs review

Heated affairs is a site I tried, but didn't get as good results with, so I feel like it might be one of those affair dating sites that belongs in the 'scams' category.  It has less users, and when I do find someone I like -- they weren't active anymore.  After a ton of trying I eventually met a woman named 'Cat' who wasn't the most attractive, but I decided to go for it anyways.  We met at a bar in DinkyTown and after 40 minutes of chatting I learned that she had been fighting with her partner lately because he had a problem with her weight gain.  We continued meeting but it fizzled out and I stopped hearing from her.  After this, I stick with some of the best affair sites i mentioned above, since they were way easier to get dates on.

Visit Heated Affairs

Free Affair Sites For Cheating

Nothing is better than free married dating sites, especially when the free service lets you find a passionate affair that will create priceless memories.

For the longest time craigslist personals was by far the best place to find any kind of casual encounters for free.  But recently it was taken down because of an anti-sex-trafficking law.  Here's some of the newer married but looking cheating sites that are still 100% free.


As soon as craigslist was taken down this popped up.  It lets you search for discreet hookups in your city.  If you live in a populous area, it is a good way to find people for free.  The amount of users is still small though because it is pretty new, but there has been a big flood of people lately coming in from craigslist.

Visit DoubleList

Adultery and R4R: Finding Affair Partners On Reddit Sites

If you are having an affair it can be easy to feel isolated and like people don't understand you.  That's why i love the adultery subreddit site which is a forum with 20,000 members.  The members range from those who are curious to those who have experience with dozens of affairs.

You can participate in discussions about common issues, like how to meet up.  You can ask questions, share helpful links, and join their kik group.

The kik group is a great way to meet people for free that are part of the married cheating community.  It is a hundred people and growing, you may be lucky enough to find someone on there in your city.   But if you form a connection with someone you might have to fly to meet them which can be more expensive and far from 'free'.   Be careful if you get one-on-one with someone who wants you to paypal them money for some love, there's a few scams going around on kik.

Free R4R Hookups

Other subreddits to try are Redditor-4-Redditor, or /r4r.  Just try googling *your city name* +r4r.  So if you live in San Francisco you would type "San Francisco r4r" into google.  This will show you people that live near you and are looking to find hookups and sometimes looking to cheat.  You can also post an ad saying that you are looking for something discreet.

More Tips For Using Affair Dating Sites

Maintaining an affair can be work, but I have you covered on the logistics.  Check out my guides below, for having, finding and maintaining an affair.  As well as site reviews, app reviews, and erotic stories of real life affairs.

How To Have an Affair

Is bigger better? When it comes to information, I think so.  

In my how to have an affair guide I list out every tip tactic and trick for keeping your discreet relationship hidden from your spouse.

One of the trickiest things in an affair is coordinating when to meet up and where.  I've found a good time is in the morning or afternoon, then I use grocery shopping, or an early work day as cover.  One of the most suspicious times to hookup with your AP is during the night, the "I had to work late" excuse can only work so many times.

Craigslist Personals Alternatives

Best married dating sites like craigslist

Sadly, after the FOSTA and SESTA bills were passed in April 2018 Craigslist personals was taken down.  If the law is appealed there is a chance that Craigslist personals may return some day, but until then we have to use alternatives to find affairs and casual encounters.

I've made a review of some of my favorite craigslist personals alternatives on a separate post.  Most of these are great places to find the same type of cheater relationships and cougars you found on craigslist

It's not all bad though, the main downside of Craigslist was that you got a lot of people emailing you with spam offers.  I had to keep a private email just for personals which was kind of a pet peeve. It took a lot more work to find something, but hey at least it was the best free affair site.

Backpage.com Alternatives

Backpage was another site that disappeared along with craigslist.  We have made a list of sites that are similar to backpage that will work as substitutes.  These sites are pretty similar to craigslist but a bit more risque, like how backpage.com.  You can use them to find kinky affairs and swinger clubs.  You probably won't find a rich woman on this site though, it is more for people who are looking for sex.

Best Affair Apps and Cheater Apps

While many of the sites we listed also have an app (Victoria Milan, Ashley Madison, Gleeden) there are tons of services that are app only.

View my guide to the best affair apps to see my review of what to use.  There are some dating apps like CasualX that are dedicated to finding local hookups, similar to how craigslist personals would have worked.  

You can also use Tinder and hide your face, only showing your body.  That way if anyone who knows you are in a committed thing stumbles across your profile they won't call you out as being a cheater.

Affairs With Sister-In-Laws

How to have an affair with in laws

You would be surprised how many people have their first affair with an in law.  Most commonly it is with a sister-in-law, but it can also be with a brother-in-law or mother-in-law.

In my sister-in-law affair post i round up some common stories from around the web of people who managed to pull off affairs with their sister in law (some of them even met on the cheating sites I mentioned).  This is no easy task and one of the most challenging extramarital affairs to have.  But when you gotta have it you gotta have it.  Sometimes the allure of a challenge makes it one of the most rewarding affairs you could ever have.

How To Get Married Wives To Cheat

Sometimes you meet the woman of your dreams, but she is already married, or about to be.  You might already have some connection which just makes you want her more.

Luckily most married women aren't too happy in their relationship if they are flirting with you.  Once you learn how to seduce a married woman you can get her to cheat on her partner and fall for you.

This is difficult to do if she is newly married, say, less than 1 year.  But if she has been married longer than 5 years, especially if she is young, she will have fallen out of lust and is looking for a new man.  It's not natural for people to have sex with the same person longer than 5 years.  Young women who got married especially will feel like they are missing out when they see their girlfriends having passionate sex and going on fun dates.

Final Verdict - Top Affair Dating Sites 

Married dating sites definitely aren't your ordinary online dating sites.  But when it comes to affairs you need extra special tools.

If I had to choose only two dating websites to use, they would be Ashley Madison, and AFF.  For obvious reasons. Be careful of some more generic sites like 'cheating wives', which can be scams that don't have many users or steal your credit card info.

Hopefully you enjoyed this guide! If you are looking for more dating advice or have any questions please drop me a comment below!

Written by Roy Steitz

I may be 55 but I still enjoy the joys of sex, and this site is where I blog about it all, including the exotic partners that I casually (and sometimes not so casually) encounter.

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